1. #1

    I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    I am working in a government organisation. I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues and have been friends with her for as long time. But I am afraid that this might affect my career in a bad way. I am unable to concentrate on my work. What should be done in such a situation?

  2. #2
    bonomali Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    Hello Friend,

    Well, there is a simple solution to your problem. You have to talk to her and tell her your feelings for her. Until and unless you speak your mind to her you will never get rid of your current situation. There are many people before you have gone through this phase so don't wory my friend. You can overcome it will flying colours. It is not a crime to like your female colleague who has some sort of mindset. These days love is very difficlut to find so don't loose this golden opportunity and talk to her immedaitely and express your fondness to her. I do believe she too has the same feeling for you.

    This will not affect your work. Infact. This will increase your potential to be an effective employee at your office. In a situation like this talking is the best medicine that can heal all wounds.


  3. #3
    vinod kumar Array
    Join Date
    Mar 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    hello guest,,,
    in this age generally it happens.we get attracted from the opposite sex.
    simultaneously it is very much true the it distracts us from our work.
    there are two things.very first thing is that if you are very much serious for her and want to develop relationship then i think you should propose her so that you can be satisfied or if you are very much serious with your career then you should avoid her.try to make a distance from her.always try to concentrate on your work so that you can increase your performance.in this way you can gain more.so,first decide the priority and according to that you should work.
    thank you and best of luck

  4. #4
    hggg Array
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    There will be lot of colleagues a company for every individual.If any small thing happens some of the colleagues spread that matter among others it creates a bad impression on you among the colleagues.
    As you are working in the government organisation you have to work with them.
    It effects your career badly.Be like a friend to the colleague but don't disturb your friendship.
    all the best
    thank you

  5. #5
    Ritz Array
    Join Date
    Jun 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    Hi Dear,

    You are a mature and independent individual. You are even well settled. Henceforth, you can decide to take more charge of your life. So instead of whining on such emotional matters, be confident and positive and talk to the young lady expressing your genuine feelings. But remember not to make things public. I am sure if she is your admiration, even she would be a mature individual and would not make feeling related to her personal life public.

    You can request her for an outing in a restaurant and then express your feelings to her. You never know, even she might be reciprocating the same feelings and would be glad to accept your proposal. In case, she says a no, do not get disheartened or hamper your work but remain cool and composed as god might have someone better for you.

    But, talk to her first and in case she says a yes to you, I would suggest you to think on a more serious note and get married as both of you are mature and independent to decide about your life.

    Wish you loads of luck!

  6. #6
    creed Array
    Join Date
    May 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    hello friend
    first of all let me tell you that the be a relationship with a girl is doesn't affect your career but if still you are thinking that due to a lady in your life your career will be at risk then what you have to do is that as per as possible don't talk to the lady because due to that reason you are distract from your work and try to make always busy in your office works so that at last you don't have a time to think about the particular lady or at last you don't have a time to chat with her.
    all the best.

  7. #7
    mamulu Array
    Join Date
    Aug 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    Do not be too timid about your actions. All life is an experiment.Without balance,the life is no longer worthy.[FONT=georgia, serif] find out the factor which affects you in your working life and try to sort it out.Because you have no right to hurt anyone's feelings.if u are frank to her ,talk with her about your problems in your career. After all,your career matters a lot for you as your parents and family"s dreams linked with your career.if you can't sort it out,then its better to be focused on your career. [/FONT]sometimes you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure,which can be a smile for you and your's parents.

  8. #8
    manojbadoniya Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    The serious matter may really affect your career badly because attraction to someone is that you are really addicted of that one and if you are not addicted then you are forcing your mind to remember that person who is being the disturbance in your work and as you are working in a government organization so first of all you should remove this thought from your mind that you will make a very good relation after this friendship because workplace is workplace where everyone is abide of the rules of the organization and you are just going away from your work and not concentrating enough on your performance that will be a higher destruction of your career because just building the career is the stage when you can secure your future in a particular way and if you will not make your base strong right now through your job and hard work then you will get nothing in future from this job

    This is real that attraction can be generated anywhere towards any person who we like and have conversation everyday so this thing create disturbance in our mind because one male and one female that create a lot of concentration towards each other despite being at the work place to if both are serious and you are serious in this matter and have been in a long friendship and that is why you remember your colleague more than your responsibilities so just stop yourself right here and think at once that where are you going right now so you should prefer only one thing here and like another thing and preference should be given to the job because you may think anything about the future but career gets the priority so you should be dedicated to the career first and do everything to build that in positive way so you do not face unavoidable financial circumstances and for that you need to stop concentrating on your colleague and care for your work more than her

    Do not stop talking to her and keep your conversation continue but try to talk as less as possible and do not get so close and serious about her because you have to prefer your career now and when you see that you have got a permanent and higher grade job in any government organization then you should think about personal life because I can understand that you can not avoid her in your way of career so keep your argument with her that you are too closed and wants something good in future but before that you should confirm that either she also facing the same situation or not and for that you should go to office and do not talk to her directly and keep yourself busy in your work then she will come to you and ask you that why didn't you hello her in the morning so that will be the confirmation because she will also show eagerness to talk to you and meet you and when you see a right time and situation then you should keep your argument to her that does she like you or not at every corner and propose for future so I am sure that she will accept and you both may be a very good couple but before that you have to work hard for future then only she will come to you after looking into your future

    Keep distance enough while work in office and do not talk to each other again and again otherwise that will be a big disturbance for all other employees working in that office and you may get loss in your job so remember that professional area is not for personal things so you should keep dignity of that place and get busy in your work

    All the best

  9. #9
    srinivasa Array
    Join Date
    Feb 2013

    Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    when you tend to loose your concentration at work then don't take it easy be serious at work when you are uncertain about any relationship you should respect others opinions as well its good you found liking about her now its important that you give your view on her and make your proposal to her this would rather help you out than you sit and waste time work gets ignored due to your lapses.. being friends doesn't mean that you are in love respect others view be mature be frank ask her about you directly know what she is thinking about you if she says yes good go ahead what is important is that there should be an expression of feelings express yourself in good professional way being too much inclined about her will make you weak and ignored among yourself.. don't be in selfless mood this is very much dangerous i mean when you try to make things or move to an conclusion one-sided is not productive to your life.. now your grown up friend try to control your mind and heart when you can control them you can achieve all the success in your life and in personal life as well.. walk up to her speak out to your friend tell her that your in a serious conclusion about her whether you like it or no tell her that your in love with her and willing to become partners through out the life just tell your view in calm composed manner don't expect the same from her i have stressed out the importance of knowing others view on you as well so it would be clear if she puts up her opinion on you as well don't try to create a feeling that she is your world and be mature and not filmy attitude will entirely make you mad and fit for nothing.. there is no room for negative feeling when she respects your feeling and she also wants to make her friendship a name in form of marriage.. well be happy if you have made it an success in reaching out to her and the next thing is that when she says yes its important that you get approval from both the parents as they are your first love don't underestimate the importance you should always have their say in what ever you do its not about that you can take decisions as your mature and grown ups the fact is that they have the experience analyse the relationship of you both..so there are some legal and family matters that is needed for a marriage so better be optimistic and don't take things and people granted..

    there are many girl-boy friendship in a better good professional way they even end up being good friends for ever so its very much essential to differentiate love and friendship so say friendship is the gate to love this is all nonsense what people and movies bluff like any thing friendship is something divine that cannot be mixed up like what you want to mix up oil and water.. there is always some difference in them the fact is good friends never turn lovers i bet you.. we may have good friends but that turns in love is the fact that you have hidden your love in your heart before itself but people tend to give love a friendship now this is not right so misconceptions and misunderstandings towards a relationship should be cleared and don't try to create extra desire this would make you sad and make you depressed ..HAVING EXPECTATIONS IS GOOD I NEVER SAY NO FOR IT BUT YOU SHOULD ALSO HAVE THE GUTS TO FACE THE SITUATION WHEN YOUR EXPECTATIONS DON'T REACH TO DESIRED OUTCOME.....

    now last but not the least why are you not able to concentrate on your work do justice to yourself when you loose your job the hard core reality is if you don't have decent job and position even your best friend will ignore you mind it friend my dear ..but only parents will support you in hour of crisis.. whole world fights against then you will not expect anyone one your side but only your parents will fight it out on your behalf.. when your too much stressed out and feeling towards your friend is not making you do your work tell your whole feelings to your mother she will deal will your nature and make you self confident on your mind set all the best

  10. #10
    kshitiswari Array
    Join Date
    Mar 2013

    Smile Re: I am quite serious about one of my female colleagues but afraid that this might affect my career badly

    Dear, You are going to mess your professional career with personal emotions. You have not mentioned the post of the colleague you are dealing with for which you are afraid of loosing your job! If you think coolly then there is a solution in your problem. If you are serious with your feeling (that has enhanced the limit of friendship from your side), then you have to talk to the girl and sort out the matter as soon as possible. Have a general meeting outside your office where you & she can feel comfortable to talk regarding the matter. Move towards the solution, do not impose your feelings on her. If you get stop signal or confused signal then simply stop from your side. Control your emotions and temperament. If you can not, then take help of yoga. You will feel better. Hope for the best and good luck. Bye take care,

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